Yet another cock-up

This here’s a leaflet distributed to pubs in the area for the information and enjoyment of said pubs’ customers, offering guidance on alcohol consumption.

Produced by “BedSafe”… that stupid busybody nosey-parker “let’s tell everyone how to live their lives” initiative of the local Council in collaboration, I do suspect, with the Constabulary. And probably various other “interested parties” who’ve totally bought into the Nanny State.

And if I say that the local Council’s Licensing Officer, Keith “just call me Adolf” Simmons has his interfering little digits stuck firmly into the BedSafe pie, well, need I say any more?

Now don’t get me wrong. Though I enjoy the occasional (hmm) tipple meself, I do think that booze is a bit of a problem. In fact, I’d argue (and always have done) that alcohol’s a bigger problem (socially and otherwise) than smoking ever was.
And if I had my way, those who can’t handle the stuff or use it as an excuse for violence and other generally bad behaviour should all be force-fed the bloody stuff (preferably from the rear end) ’til they drop dead.

Me being me I had, of course, to take a closer peek at this wonderful little leaflet. And what’s this I see?…

Now unless I’m much mistaken, FIRE is the greatest single contributory factor in “deaths caused by house fire”. Isn’t it?

Stupid arseholes!

And to think the Council wastes ratepayers’ money on producing that sort of rubbish. Bloody hell.
Clearly another example of not thinking before they’re speaking (or writing in this case). Still, to think you’ve actually gotta have a brain I s’pose.

It just had to happen!

Apple Claims New iPhone Only Visible To Most Loyal Of Customers

SAN FRANCISCO—In a move expected to revolutionize the mobile device industry, Apple launched its fastest and most powerful iPhone to date Tuesday, an innovative new model that can only be seen by the company’s hippest and most dedicated customers.

Get the full story on The Onion

Heh heh. It was only a matter of time!

Bills bills bloody bills

Is there no end to the sodding things? Soon as you think you’ve got yourself a bit of a breathing space another of the bastards comes flying through the letterbox.

BT this time. How much for line rental? (Yep. Just line rental. I’ve already kicked ‘em out of touch for all their other crappy “services”.) Surely they’re ‘avin’ a laugh. Shitbags!

Wouldn’t be so bad but they keep on going bloody up as well! Unlike my income. Have to say I’m getting right pissed off with it all.

I’m beginning to feel the desperate need for mein host to utter a few choice expletives for me (given that my swearing vocabulary tends to be a bit unimaginative and limited).

Play with Sticklebricks instead

Having just left a comment on mateys last post, I was reminded just how much I hate Ipods and the people that use them (bloody stuck up retards).
What’s so damn clever about an Ipod that most other mp3/mp4 players haven’t got eh? they all play music, the Ipod sound quality is utter crap, they all pretty much play video although I don’t see the point in watching a film on a screen the size of a stamp.

Most people seem to think that an Ipod is some magic box that is a gift from the Gods and that there is nothing like it in the world, I’ve got a Creative zen and have lost count of the times I’ve been asked “is that an Ipod or a mp3 player” I have to stop myself from replying with “Listen here you fucking poor excuse for a retarded monkey, an Ipod is an mp3 player, it’s just the brand name fuck head, now fuckoff  out of my face and go play with some sticklebricks” the only thing stopping me from beating them to death with their Ipods is that it would just crumble on the first hint of contact with their protruding foreheads, such is the lack of build quality.

I once dropped my Creative whilst cycling and after the initial panic had subsided, I checked it for damage all it had was a few little sratches and lived on to old age playing away without a care in the the world, I doubt an Ipod would survive such an accident.

And so on to the type of people who have an Ipod, if you can call them people that is, brainwashed Zombies would be more precise.  Just ‘cos the telly told them how great an Ipod is they just had to go out and buy one, not because they’re music fans oh no, the way the adverts are done you’re just a nobody if you don’t have one, so it’s more of a fashion item than anything else, look around you can see them walking around with an air of false superiority with their white earbuds on show, wearing the latest clothing fashion and floppy hair probably listening to latest song that Radio One told them is the bestest thing in the whole wide world, until the next song comes out in about ten minutes anyway…..fucking Zombies!

Consumer goods…

… that are flogged on the basis of being “stylish” instead of how well they perform!

I hate ‘em, hate ‘em, bloody hate ‘em.

What’s the point of buying something that looks really good if the damn thing doesn’t perform to a level that matches its appearance? So what you’re paying for basically (and usually through the nose, cos style costs money seemingly) is just how the thing looks, and not what it actually does.

And who the hell cares about looks anyway? Only an absolute moron.

Sure, its nice to have something that looks good… providing it does the business as well. But if it doesn’t? Well, a bit like “go faster” stripes on cars. What’s the bloody point?

So value’s shifted from what a thing does to what a thing appears to be able to do. Its all crap!

This little rant’s been prompted by a bit of kit I’ve recently acquired (blatantly plugging my own blog, the full write-up’s here). Full of gimmicks and style… all of which contribute diddly-squat to what its actually supposed to do. In fact, some of these so-called “features” make it a bloody sight more difficult to use.

Seems to me all people are concerned about nowadays is bloody appearance. Meaningless, empty, bloody stupid appearances. Nothing’s sodding real anymore. Bit like “political correctness” when you come to think about it. All bullshit!

And the offending company? Samsung! I’m rapidly going off them. Very rapidly.

10 thing’s I hate…..

1. Political correctness can go blow a Monkey’s pole.

2. Chavs, what exactly is the point of them?

3. Esther Rantzen….Aarrgh! hate the horrible horse faced do-gooder.

4. Fashion….. just ‘cos someone rich and famous is wearing it, doesn’t mean it’ll look good on you (most of the time it doesn’t look good on them).

5. Fat people, stop eating all the pies……I want some too.

6. Children who don’t know their place (it’s all number 3’s fault).

7. Ricky Gervais….. smug, is not funny, now fuck off you fat bastard.

8. Ex smokers….you know you want to really.

9. Call centres….if you insist on calling me, at least have someone who can speak English do it (or better still stop calling me, I don’t want what ever it is you’re selling).

10. Esther Fucking Rantzen (yes I hate her so much I mentioned her twice).